No Fool To Me
by solielunami
Summary: After all the events, Rian has a hard time dealing with the thoughts inside his head, making him feel broken and conflicted. Fortunately, Deet is there to help him with it.


The sun was setting in Thra, the skies various shades of orange and pinkish tones.

It might've looked like it would be a normal night, just like all the others past thrines ago.. Only it wasn't.

This would be one of the last nights before the Gelflings would finally stand up and fight against the treacherous Skeksis.

Here, at Stone-in-the-Wood, it all seemed so unreal, imagining the very ground they stood on would be a battlefield within the next couple of days..

Rian found himself sitting on a rock, while he previously just scrolled through Brea's journal, his mind was now processing all what has happened the last few days..

Or rather, the lack of processing.

There were a hundred of fears and thoughts gnawing on his brain, things that went wrong, things that could go wrong.

And Mira, and his father.. Oh Thra.. He's lost them, he really lost them, there was no way for them to get back, and he could not get back to them..

Another thought passed through his mind, sneering at him; You really think you are able to be a leader and carry all Gelfling? Are you able to take that responsibility? He found himself waiting..

No, someone like him? So weak, not able to control his emotions, he's not in his right mind.. That was no leader, that was a weakling, a fool, a fool with foolish thoughts.

Rian shivered as he felt himself quivering from not only the chills of the night incoming, but also the protruding thoughts in his head.. His mouth was dry, tears prickling his eyes.

He was never the kind of person who was insecure about himself, but ever since what happened at the castle of the Crystal, thoughts such as the ones he's having now slowly creeped deeply into his mind, getting worse by the day.

He felt the tears rolling down his cheek, pathetic, very pathetic, how are the Gelfling gonna be safe with a leader who's bawling his eyes out? Another though said to him.

" Rian? Rian where are you? " A soft voice in the distance called.. Deet. He heard her footsteps from far away coming closer and closer.

Rian rushingly wiped away the fresh tears and tried to appear as normal as possible.

Deet finally reached him and gave him her usual smile, the smile that made his heart skip a beat.

" I was looking for you all over, it's going to be dark soon so I was wondering where you-"

Deet narrowed her big eyes, and saw the wetness on his cheeks, along with the tired and reddish eyes.

Oh no.. He has been crying, that was obvious.

Her heart sank immediately, just as her face turned into a worried expression.

" Rian.. What's the matter, why were you crying? " Her eyes were concerned while she spoke to him.

Bugger, she's seen right through him.

Rian turned his head away, slightly hiding his face from her attentive eyes. " It's nothing Deet, don't worry about it. "

Deet felt a pain flash in her heart, didn't he trust her?

She only wanted to help him.. It hurt her to see him like this, a person who she looks up to, being all battered like now.

Rian felt something warm grab his hand, he slightly gave a gasp when he saw Deet's hand upon his cold ones, fiddled together.

He looked up at her.. Her big brown eyes were looking at him so soft, so precious.. It made his heart go faster and faster.

" I know you are hurting, I see it in your eyes, you're in pain. But you can tell me Rian, just say so. "

He could tell her, he wanted to..

He wanted to be consoled. There was also a hint of doubt..

But whenever he looked into those soft eyes, he forgot all about it.

He could trust her.

Rian swallowed, and then began; " I.. I feel so much pressure.. And doubt, doubt if I am able to be the person I want myself to be, what they expect me to be.. " He quickly gazed at her, she nodded her head as a sign to continue.

" And, the voices in my head tell I'm not able to, they tell me I'm weak, a fool. But I just.. " The tears in his eyes began to form again, as he tried to continue.

Deet's heart ached at hearing the things he said, and the obvious pain in his heart.

She moved closer to where he sat, and now grabbed both his unusually cold hands, he must've been brooding here for quite a while.

" Everything that happened, ever since the death of Mira, and of my father, I don't know how I'm able to process it, it keeps on.. Haunting me. "

He clutched his heart, trying to express himself, but how could he explain a feeling like this? This aching, hurting feeling..

" My father, he was a great leader. He is so much to live up to, it's always been hard for me. I remember he was always saying things like.. ' Time to take things serious, son ' and I tried to, I tried to.. But I failed, and now that he's gone, all the lessons he's teached me, I'm afraid i can't live up to them " Rian rambled on, talking so fast and so quick.

But Deet processed each word deep into her memories, each time it hurted her more. He thought so lowly of himself..

Whereas she first thought he was very confident about himself and his actions, it seemed like he was very much troubled with all that he has been through, but he never let it show.

Poor Rian, Deet thought with sadness. Looking at his tired face, she wanted nothing more than these tears to go away, to see him happy.

She wanted to let him know, know he was far more than that, that he was so much more.

" Well I don't think you're weak, I don't think you're a fool. " Rian quickly looked up at her again, remembering the time she used similar words.

" You're a perfectly fit leader Rian, look what you've done for all of us.. " She assured, along with a squeeze of her hands.

" You've discovered a terrible secret, and you acted upon it, forming a resistance, guiding me and all other Gelflings into rebellion against our foe, a foe we've been following for thrines.. Until you came, it was _you_ Rian. "

" And yes, you have losses, losses that cause unimaginable pain and ache.. " Deet spoke softly as she placed her other hand atop his that were still clutching at his chest.

" But even the greatest leaders endure this, and what kind of leader would not mourn? Would not cry for a loss as great as that? Its not a weakness, it's what makes you a great leader.. " Rian's eyes gazed at her in a daze, listening to her every word.

" If you'd ask me, leaders have to be compassionate, being able to feel pain in their heart, that's a true leader, to me, to all of us. " A few moments of silence, just the two of them staring deeply into eachother's eyes.

" That's what you are Rian, a true leader " She waited for a couple of moments.. " Your father, he would be so proud of you, I know it. "

Another few seconds of silence, Deet's mind began to wonder.. Has she said anything wr- Before she could think any more, she felt Rian's hands fully taking her green ones again, Deet gave a small surprised gasp at what she saw happening before her eyes.

Slowly, he began intertwining his fingers with hers.. An action that send both their hearts racing and heads spinning.

" You don't possibly know, how much that means to me, Deet. " Rian's voice was hoarse, the emotions he was currently experiencing evident.

His lips had now turned into a smile, but there was something about him.. Deet's eyes turned from their joined hands to look directly into his orbs.

Her heart skipped a beat at what she found within them.

This was how her fathers looked into eachother's eyes.. Full of love, admiration..

Everything of that, she now saw in Rians eyes.

All these times she caught him looking at her, the words he's been saying, and the trust he has in her, telling her of his fears.. It all made sense.

One of his hands now parted from hers and came closer to her face, but along with that she realized how much closer his face had gotten also.

She could see his eyes clear and bright before her, closer than they had ever been.

His fingers then softly grazed her hair, Deet's heart was beating even faster, her lips parting - Only to withdraw as quick as they came.

He held up a piece of mud, a piece of mud.. In her hair.

Deet's smile began growing bigger and bigger, until she began to giggle, and it eventually ended up full-on laughing.

Rian gave a small grin, but admitted that the reason he was smiling was more because of Deet's laughter instead of the piece of mud.

Her laughter turned into giggling again until she was only smiling.

Again they locked eyes.. No words spoken, but so many feelings shared.

But, it was too long. And there was no time.

No time for the regaining darkness not only outside, but also inside herself.. This.. Disease she carried within, getting stronger.

It could never be, not after what has happened to her with the Sanctuary Tree.

It cannot be, Deet, she repeated to herself.

In a whim, Deet parted herself from Rian's touch.

Rian's face turned surprised, was he at fault for something? He asked himself, wondering what has happened for Deet to withdraw so quick and sudden.

" We- We better rest, it's nearly night. " She stammered, finding it hard to see the confused expression on him, he was probably blaming himself for this.

Despite the sinking feeling in his chest, he managed to compose himself and cleared his throat. " Yes, that's good. Let's get some rest. " He muttered, the sky around them almost fully dark, the stars shining bright.

Rian sat up, but stood still, considering his next words. " I- uh, thank you again, Deet. That means a lot, "

Deet smiled up at him, " Of course. " Rian looked at the ground, then back at her sitting figure.

" _You_ mean a lot, to me.. "

Deet's eyes widened, feeling her cheeks and her ears redden.

Opening her mouth, she wanted to say something back, but before she could, Rian stepped away.

As she watched his fading figure, she felt her feelings for him double even more.

A light glowed in the corner of her eyes, and with a little gasp, she saw the veins in her hands and up her arms lighting up a bright pink.

Again, she was reminded of what state she was in.

Deet closed her eyes sadly, covering her hands as much as possible.

No one could know.

So she would hide it, to protect everyone.

Even if it would mean she had to sacrifice her old life, and the life she could have with her new friends, and Rian.

With that thought now set in her head, she stood up, following in Rian's footsteps, the secret heavy in her heart.


End file.
